This is the Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2017 page
Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2017
This adventure picks up where Enter the Trash Witch left off.
Famous dinosaurs: Ubtao's favorite, Banana Candy, Big Honker, and Mountain Thunder
Viari wants to find a way to "juice" the dinosaur. He's looking for Achmed's Shed of Danger Juice/Fabulous Robes. He finds it.
Strix doesn't know which dinosaur to make scary, so she starts rubbing dung on Banana Candy. She gets swatted away by the owner.
They cover it in dung, and then clean off an "18" on the side. I assume they did this to make it like a race car, but the 18 plays into things as the show goes on. It's a really freakish, only-in-D&D thing.
They trot out their dinosaur with the 18 on the side. Its name? Shitstorm. "We're coming in #1 with #2."
The odds against the group are 10-1, as bad as it gets.
Time for the race... They set up. The crowd cheers.
The Dinosaur Race
Time to stick the roids up the dinosaur's butt. What kind of check? Sleight of hand.
Viari makes his roll. Wait.. he doesn't want to do it. Rolls a 4! He has a +13. 17! Crowd goes nuts.
Viari gets caught in the "contractions". His arm is stuck deep in the butt of their triceratops.
Chris goes over the rules:
- Don't go down side streets.
- No attacking the other riders (It's fair game if nobody sees it).
- A triceratops costs 500 gp.
- The race is abstract. It is based on a point system. The first person to get 300 points wins.
- The race involves animal handling checks.
- The DC to succeed is different depending on what dinosaur you're riding. An allosaurus is more difficult than a triceratops, because an allosaurus is hard to control.
- You can whip your beast to make it go faster. If it doesn't like it, though, it might do something.
Jim needs a 14 on his check to succeed. He has 50 points so far.
Viari makes his check. His arm is free. Strix is on her flying broom and grabs him. Paper chandeliers just so happen to be stretched across the street. Viari swings from paper chandelier to paper chandelier. Each comes apart as he goes to the next one. He lands on Banana Candy.
The rider starts smacking him with his whip. Viari picks his pocket. He snatches a dinosaur hide pouch from his pocket. He goes "Is this yours"? He hands it over and "accidentally" drops it, trying to get the rider to fall off.
Omin is among the spectators. He's being followed by two tabaxis. One has pantaloons, the other is wearing a hat. Omin walks up to them and tells them if they want to follow a cleric of luck, they'll have to do better.
Strix crashes through a window of an estate. She's going through hallways. Survival check to navigate. 20 total. Strix exits, leaving a burnt hole in her shape in the drapes. Jim is winning the race! He rolls bad. His dinosaur is becoming uncontrollable. He's running down the sidewalk smashing into things.
A kid on a balcony throws a melon at him. The kid rolls a natural 20. It covers Jim's head. He can't see anything.
Jim rolls to navigate blind. 18 total. Crowd chants "18". Oh yeah... that's the number of the dinosaur. Only one dinosaur, named Big Honker, is ahead of him.
Jim is choking her. She turns into a cloud.
Viari helps the snake woman up. She looks at him with her snaky eyes. They make out.
There's something sweet on his lips. Viari feels delirious and he begins to stagger around. She becomes a blur. He falls unconscious. She loots him. The apocalypse dagger! Gone.
Omin looks for Viari. Viari has been robbed. He's unconscious. Omin brings him to the winner's circle. He wakes up and cleans himself off in a fountain.The apocalypse dagger is gone. She also took his betting chips - he stood to win a lot on this race.
The heroes try to go to the betting place to ambush her when she tries to cash in.
He was doing a job for Yashida. She works for Ras Nsi, leader of the yuan-ti in Omu.
The group meets with a guy named Grandfather Zatembe. He communes with Zavrus. He sees a jungle city to the south and a black obelisk draped in vines.
The group heads back to their ship. Their crew is there. Chris printed out the crew's statistics.
The heroes decide to bring 18, the dinosaur, along. They rig an apparatus so that it is strapped to the underside of the ship.
Jim flies down on his broom. He rolls to see if he can calm it. He actually rolls an 18. Freaky!
The group arrives at a section of jungle with a lava pit. It is shrouded in mist. Chris unveils an insane diorama/map. It's the lost city of Omu.
The group picks out a place to land. Gargoyles with green devil faces (!) are watching them. Strix ties the crew to the ship so nobody falls off like the one guy did on the podcast.
The group decides to kill the gargoyles. Each player will run one of the NPC crew in addition to their character.
Jim makes like he casts dispel magic on it. Scubby casts a crappy illusion of pelicans.
A gargoyle swoops down, grabs Scubby and eats his face. Scubby is dead. It flies away with Scubby in its mouth.
A fan in the crowd points out that Scubby is tied to a rope. Scubby is torn in two. Part of the corpse swings under the ship. 18 tries to eat it.
Strix flies on her broom and launches a fireball at the tyrannosaurus rex. She does 30 points. The t. rex had feathers. Now they're burned off.
Viari swings on a rope and hacks into the dinosaur, impaling his sword into the roof of its mouth.
Jim releases the triceratops now known as 18 and rides him, falling toward the t. rex. He casts feather fall. 18 lands gently on its back.
Jim notices that this t. rex is evil, more malevolent than he'd imagine a t. rex would be.
Jim makes an attack roll for 18 the triceratops. Natural 20! Damage: 8d8+6.
The t rex and 18 tumble down a hill. The t. rex is dead.
18 is alive, too!
An old woman appears. A halfling. Rosie Beestinger from the C Team! End of session.