Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2018
This is the Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2018 page.
Summary[edit | edit source]
Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2018[edit | edit source]
The Party[edit | edit source]
This show takes place right after Dice, Camera, Action episode 107.
Jarlaxle[edit | edit source]
Omin, Jim and Viari are at the Opera, sitting in special box seats. The play is a comedy. At intermission, someone else takes a seat next to them. It is Jarlaxle. He quietly tells them that he will tell them where the bank vault is, and then the group can "have at it". The bank belongs to the Cassalanters, and the money is primarily from a secret society of devil worshipers. They want to overthrow the Open Lord and the Masked Lords of Waterdeep. Omin is secretly one of the Masked Lords.
Jarlaxle tells the group that the bank only takes money from nobles and tieflings with money. Viari goes to pick Jarlaxle's pocket a he leaves, and Viari is stabbed for 4 points, and 60 points of poison damage. He has 2 hit points left. Omin quietly casts death ward on him. Viari almost dies, but the spell saves him.
The play is called Saphiria's Booty. It is about a woman runs a thieves guild out of a festhall who falls in love with the first mate of a ship she's trying to rob.
The play ends and the group head outside. They return to their headquarters and begin to plan. The place that they are robbing is a front - it is called Flinder's Apothecary. Omin has decided not to heal Viari so that he can learn a lesson. Viari says he can pretend to be a sick person.
Flinders Apothecary[edit | edit source]
Omin knows that the waffle crew lives in the city. He heads to Trollskull alley. The buildings are tall and well-kept, except one. He looks through a window and sees Strix chopping up food. He taps on the window and Strix shrieks and throws a pie at the window.
Omin comes in and Strix gives him a note from Evelyn. He read the letter, puts it away and smells his hands. He asks Strix if she could help. She agrees to do so, and leaves a Strix scarecrow in her place. She mentions that Binwin died. Xanathar disintegrated him. Omin asks if they have the ashes. She says that Diath has them.
Meanwhile, Jim and Viari enter Flinder's Apothecary. Flinders is a big Jim fan. Viari is disguised as an old lady. Flinders sees right through the disguise. Jim smooths it over, saying that his friend needs to be in disguise for reasons. Flinders looks at Viari and thinks he's been affected by purple worm poison while Jim starts clumsily asking about the back rooms. Flinders says he rents the back room to a tenant. Jim offers to try to rent it. He casts friends. Flinders says Jim could go back and talk to the owner. She can be kind of crabby.
Viari sees antitoxin at the top of a shelf. He tries to climb up to get it, but the entire shelf tips and comes crashing down, pinning him to the floor. He starts licking the liquid.
Strix and Viari enter the Apothecary. Jim is offended that he brought back Strix, and says out loud that he hasn't found the vault yet. Flinders nervously says he's going to leave, but Jim stops him from leaving. Flinders tells him he needs to knock three times. Viari shrinks to one foot tall.
Fumes start to fill the room. The fumes are from all the shattered potions.The entire group passes out.
The adventurers awaken to the sound of music. All of their stuff is gone. Viari is still one foot tall and naked. They're in a study.
The Tiefling[edit | edit source]
There are a bunch of people in here. There are 4 scantily-clad warriors, two males (Hocus and Pocus) and two female (Abra and Cadabra). They are wearing leather harnesses with devil tails attached and have tiefling horn headgear. Strix tries to get up but she falls down. Jim laughs and points it out to Omin. She turns into a swarm of cranium rats.
An old tiefling woman is smoking a cigarette on a stem. Omin tells her, "Your security has passed with flying colors." Then he convinces Strix to assume her true form again. she does. Omin tells the lady that Strix would like to open an account.
Green flame glows in the woman's eyes. She is about to attack them. Jim tries to cast fireball and the tiefling woman counterspells it. The woman casts banishment, but Strix counterspells it. She says to Jim, "I just saved you." Jim infers that she did it because she likes him. Jim and Viari get charmed by the underlings.
Strix twins a polymorph spell, targeting Hocus and Pocus. She succeeds, and they both turn into chickens. Viari would like to ride his chicken. Jim is making out with his, and he asks Strix if she is jealous.
Omin casts spirit guardians. Viari grabs a random vial and pops open a cork.. it strikes him and he takes 1 point of damage. He uses uncanny dodge and reduces it by half. He has 0.5 hit points right now. He drinks... it's absinthe. Green booze.
Jim's chicken telepathically tells him to kill Strix. He casts lightning bolt. She counterspells and tells him to suck it. He counterspells her counterspell. She's hit with lightning and takes 31 points of damage. Jim makes out with his chicken and gets his fingers all up in that plumage.
She casts a spell and chains wrap around Omin and hurl him into Hell. He takes 18 points of damage. He loses concentration on his spiritual guardians.
It turns out the minions are succubi and incubi, One kisses Jim. He makes his saving throw.
A succubus does 32 points to Viari. He is at negative 31.5. If it was 32 points, he'd be instantly dead. The succubus drops him to the ground and he fails one death save. All the succubi and incubi kiss him and he eventually fails a save.
The Icepick[edit | edit source]
They sit at a bar. Viari eyes an icepick. He apologizes to the lady, but is quietly plotting vengeance.
Omin, in Hell, appears before a pit fiend. It is standing behind a lectern. It is wearing spectacles. Omin sidles over and looks at what the devil is writing. He sees it is recording his name and details. He sees soul contracts. This pit fiend's job is to obtain the souls that are owed to Hell and to trade to get them. "You have an employee named Jim Darkmagic. Is he a high performer? We want his soul."
Omin fills out the contract, working in the phrase "soul proprietor."
Jim's clone suddenly appears in Hell. There's an elevator nearby. An evil mouth appears and tries to suck him in. Jim grabs onto Omin, but Omin punches him in the face. Jim casts fireball on Omin, doing 31 points of damage to him.
The Jim clone casts detect thoughts, and realizes that he truly is a clone.
Back up in the apothecary, an incubus kisses the real Jim and does 37 points. He has one hit point left. The charm is broken, but he is charmed by a succubus.
Strix counterspells a banishment and uses divine soul to block a charm attempt.
Strix casts spiritual guardians - green spectral chickens.
End of Session.
The story continues on Dice, Camera, Action episode 108.