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Enter the Trash Witch
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Enter the Trash Witch
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== Summary == === Enter the Trash Witch === ==== The Party ==== ([[Jerry Holkins|Jerry]]) [[Omin Dran]] - Half-Elf Cleric ([[Mike Krahulik|Mike]]) [[Jim Darkmagic]] - Human Wizard ([[Patrick Rothfuss|Patrick]]) [[Viari]] - Human Rogue ([[Commander Holly|Holly]]) [[Strix]] - Tiefling Sorcerer ==== The Contract ==== [[Omin Dran]] is flying the airship. He drops [[K'thriss]], who was a guest star in the last Acquisitions, Inc. show, off in the Dessarin Valley. He flies to [[Waterdeep]] and leaves [[Morgaen]] there. The group needs to pick up some interns for a new mission. Omin selects some [[interns]]: * '''"Hell's Adjacent" Hibner''': A tiefling that doesn't sleep much. * '''Tweed Barsum''': A gnome. * '''Alandria Primp''': An acolyte in her early days of wizard training. * '''Scubby Hornswallow''': A scruffy forest gnome with small, rough hands. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is suffering from the [[death curse]]. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] has sores on his body that he is covering with powder, sunglasses and a wig. The wig is of black, luxurious curly black hair. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is strutting around, looking good. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] has been buying assets, similar to how some companies buy medical debt. One such acquisition is an infernal contract, which is a binding agreement linking a soul to the owner. The contract he bought is bound to [[Strix]]. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] learns that the [[Skizzix|Skizziks]] were a human family from [[Sigil]] that feared annihilation from their rivals. They made a pact with Asmodeus to become tieflings and they were also awarded vassals - devils to serve as bodyguards and assistants. This contract that [[Omin Dran|Omin]] has lets him call forth the family's most powerful member: [[Strix]]. This representative of the infernal house is bound to do as [[Omin Dran|Omin]] commands. ==== Summoning Strix ==== [[Omin Dran|Omin]] uses the contract to summon her. A pentagram forms and [[Strix]] appears in a flash. She's got her staff in one hand and her flying broom in the other. [[Strix]] freaks out for a second. Jim tries to figure out her deal with an insight check. He rolls a 1. He declares that she is a dumpster witch, or maybe a trash witch. [[Strix]] can see that [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is suffering from the [[death curse]], the same curse that she and [[Diath Woodrow|Diath]] had been suffering from. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] explains to [[Strix]] that her family is in league with devils. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] was able to buy her contract for a little under 10 gold. [[Strix]] is insulted. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] has been trying to shake off the [[death curse]] by juicing. [[Strix]] and the Acquisitions Inc. team get to know each other and compare robots. The waffle crew has a [[Murderbot|kid-killing robot]]. Acq, Inc. has fraternized with beer robots. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] informs [[Strix]] that once this mission is done, he promises not to summon her again unless he feels like it. He might summon her for a snail-eating competition, something like that. ==== Traveling to Chult ==== The group flies to Chult, a trip that takes 10 days. [[Strix]] sometimes throws hand-written notes over the side of the ship, hoping to make contact her friends. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] sees this and tries to be all smooth, offering her a dove. [[Strix]] loves birds. She nonchalantly thanks him. The [[death curse]] is slowly killing [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]]. Over the course of this trip, his max hit points drop by 10. He's down to 28. As they get close to [[Port Nyanzaru]], they see some winged gnashers and they spot a massive turtle in the water. A creature flies up to their ship. It is a friendly half-dragon with gold scales holding a staff. He is Zindar the Quartermaster. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] tells Zindar that they need to find [[The Soulmonger|the soulmonger]], but Zindar knows nothing about it. Zindar explains that normal sailing ships pay a dragon turtle in gold and gems for safe passage to the bay. There are pirates out there causing problems for the city, and they have a secret cove. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] really wants to take down the pirates once the [[death curse]] is dealt with. ==== Skills Assessment ==== The group asks [[Strix]] how she is in combat. She talks about shaping her ''fireball'' spells and [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] declares that it is impossible to do such a thing. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] realizes that she's a sorcerer. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] says that she is a pervert. [[Viari]] can't believe that [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is calling her a pervert - he assumes she must be into really freaky stuff for [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] to say such a thing. The group wants to see what [[Strix]] can do. [[Viari]] shoves Hibner over the side, and he begins falling toward the ocean below. [[Strix]] flies on her broom and tries to grab him. She rolls a 9. His shirt rips and he keeps falling. She tries to ''polymorph'' him into a bat. He rolls a saving throw and gets a natural 20. Hibner falls into the water. [[Strix]] has flashbacks to when she accidentally killed [[Ireena]]. <ref>[[Episode 11]]</ref> [[Viari]] dives in and they find Hibner in the water, alive and unconscious. [[Strix]] ''polymorphs'' him into a bat. They bring him on the ship and give him bat CPR. [[Strix]] shuts off the ''polymorph'' spell. Hibner gets up and punches [[Viari]] in the nuts. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] authorizes it. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is not impressed with her magic, and he notices that people in the harbor are watching this spectacle. [[Viari]] takes his shirt off, because it is so hot out. The group lands and heads into [[Port Nyanzaru]], a jungle city where dinosaurs are beasts of burden. There's a really nice boat with a bright blue sail nearby. The crew waves in a friendly manner. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] sends them fruit baskets. ==== Port Nyanzaru ==== The heroes heads toward Kaya's House of Repose in a nicer part of the city. A little kid offers her candy. [[Strix]] shakes the kid and more candy falls out. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]]'s makeup is running. He has a purple silk parasol for protection against harmful UV rays. [[Viari]] wants to buy some clothes so that he can fit in. He gets a turban and billowing Errol Flynn-style clothing. Ankylosaurs are pulling a ship into a berth. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] walks up to one of them and puts a hand on it, Jurassic Park style. The dinosaur handlers poke him with 10 foot poles. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] wants to buy one. They go check out dinosaurs for sale. They learn that the city holds dinosaur races. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] thinks [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] doesn't have much time left, and maybe this would be nice for him. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] acts sicker and claims that dinosaur racing might be something he needs. The group agrees that a triceratops is the way to go. They want to raise dinosaurs. [[Viari]] feels sympathy for [[Strix]], knowing what it's like to be an intern. He buys her a custom witch hat. It's light and has pouches. [[Strix]] cries and says how nice it was. [[Viari]] wants a hug. [[Strix]] doesn't do hugs. She gives him a weird hand touch. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]]'s makeup is running. He rudely tells [[Strix]] that he can give her makeup tips. She casts ''alter self'' to look like him and insults him. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] runs away, weeping, saying that they need to get rid of this trash witch. ==== The Merchant Prince ==== They meet with a merchant prince to discuss getting in on the dinosaur races. The prince offers them pistachio nuts and the group is all over it, [[Strix]] especially. The prince learns that [[Strix]] beat the [[death curse]] and wants to hear about it over dinner. She panics, and then is relieved when the whole group is invited. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]], resentful of [[Strix]], says that she's lying about the cure, and also, she can't cast any good spells. [[Strix]] quietly sets the bottom of his robes on fire. He snaps his fingers and puts the fire out. He threatens to set her on fire. Someone points out that she's a tiefling - fire doesn't bother her all that much. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] quietly says to [[Omin Dran|Omin]], "I'm going to roast this pervert." ==== The Meeting ==== Later, the group is going to meet with the prince. They're in a tavern. A woman gives [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] a harlequin mask. "Prince Wakanga offers you this gift. A magic item given to him from a friend long ago. It will enhance your natural beauty." [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] puts it on and it creates an illusion that makes [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] as handsome as he's ever been. The prince meet with the heroes. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is very annoyed that the merchant prince is paying attention to [[Strix]]. He finds a picture of himself in the place and offers to autograph it. Nobody's impressed. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] "accidentally" spills wine on [[Strix]], but she doesn't notice because she's generally a pretty filthy person. She rings it out and drinks it. [[Viari]] sthis prince and gives him a gift. He returns the favor and gives them a spellbook. Both [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] and [[Strix]] lunge for it. They roll off to see who is faster. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] wins. [[Strix]] starts crying. Nearby, [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] spots some strange rugs with mouths on them. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] "accidentally" knocks her into one. She fails her save. It's a ''rug of smothering''. It engulfs her. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] scolds [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]]. [[Strix]] escapes it by turning into a cloud. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] goes: "gross." ==== The Library ==== The group goes to the prince's home and checks out his library while they wait for him to be ready. They decide to read some books. [[Chris Perkins|Chris]] wants the group to roll percentile to see what book they find. [[Viari]] rolls a 100! The group learns a ton of lore. They learn about [[Ubtao]], a god who lived among the people, the father of Chult. The Chultans became so warlike with each other that [[Ubtao]] left Chult. He wanted them to solve their problems themselves. [[Ubtao]] loved mazes and it is said that if you trace a path through one of his mazes, you earn his favor. The group also learns that there are rumors of a portal to the underworld in the mountains. Lurking there is [[Dendar]] the night serpent, who will devour the sun if she is released. [[Dendar]] is a god of the yuan-ti. ==== Bad Guys ==== As the group reads, 4 assassins creep into the room. They're wearing black and they have Kris blades. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] spots them. [[Omin Dran|Omin]] is very interested to see [[Strix]]'s capabilities. [[Viari]] warns her - no ''fireballs'' in the library. She does it anyway and she shapes the ''fireball'' so that it doesn't harm the group or the books. She looks at [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] while she does it. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] is not happy. The assassins are snake people. [[Jim Darkmagic|Jim]] casts magic missile. [[Strix]] heckles him for using a 1st level spell. The heroes pummel the assassins. [[Viari]] falls for the last assassin and hands over the book to the snake lady assassin. She flees the scene. End of session. This adventure is continued on the [[Acquisitions, Inc. PAX West 2017]] show.
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