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This is Episode 124 of Dice, Camera, Action.

Summary[ | ]

Episode 124 - The Perfect Pie[ | ]

The Party[ | ]

(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue

(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard

(Anna) Evelyn - Human Paladin of Lathander

The Chicken Foot Coven[ | ]

(Kikka) Dierne Hal - Shadar-kai Warlock

(Brian) Critter the Cook - Kobold Rogue

(Cameron) Purloque - Loxodon Cleric

Chris does a quick recap. He mentions that Diath released a primordial named Maegara, and in so doing he killed a number of dwarf slaves. The dwarves want compensation in the form of the 500,000 gold pieces minted in dwarven foundries that were embezzled by Lord Neverember and are hidden somewhere in Waterdeep.

Last session, the group were invite to the Cassalanter Estate, home to nobles that are tied to the archdevil Asmodeus. The Casslanters signed over the soulds of their children to Asmodeus. One has been transformed into a chain devil. They can prevent the other two kids from transforming if they can find the hidden gold. Simon, Paultin's "son", was drawn into the cult that operates beneath the estate. Paultin rescued him.

The Offer of Partnership[ | ]

Paultin and Simon rejoin the group upstairs. The group says goodbye to the Cassalanters, and decides to head home.

  • Critter is a ratty kobold wearing a patchwork cloak.
  • Purloque is a large, clean, docile figure in stunning white clothing.
  • Dierne is a "dumpster gremlin" shadar kai. Everything about her is white, but old, ghostly clothing. She looks quite like the ghost of a shadar kai.

The group returns to Trollskull Manor, where Strix's coven is gathered outside. Paultin is shocked to see that she has assistants.

The front door is locked. Diath picks the lock. Inside, it's dark and someone is sitting in Strahd von Chairovich. It looks like a drow. Strix asks if he is here to be part of the coven. He says that he is here to offer a partnership. Diath recognizes the voice as the person who talked to him back when he was imprisoned in Castle Waterdeep. Evelyn senses that this mysterious individual is not evil. He introduces himself as Jarlaxle Baenre.

Strix tells the coven to make some pies. Jarlaxle says that he invited a renowned food critic named Ransin Shobal. Jarlaxle has a recipe for Luskan Fractal Helix pie. Jarlaxle said that he made a pie for this critic and he didn't like it. This pie should be more to his liking. Jarlaxle says that the only thing you need to know about him is that he likes to win.

Their best competition is a butcher named Thrakkus.

Critter points out that everyone who works here needs to be buried alive.

Jarlaxle says that the group will need to obtain some special ingredients. He turns toward Diath and says that they should bury the hatchet. If the group wins this pie competition, he will donate his share of the gold to the children of Waterdeep.

The ingredients:

  • Kara Tur Pears: A local wizard named Quan Volio has a Kara Tur pear tree. The group may have to take them by force.
  • Lichen Cinnamon Substitute: Grinda Garloth has a device to go underwater to get the lichen that the group will need.
  • Meat Pies: Thrakkus in the Field Ward has a secret ingredient that could be useful.

Upstairs, Simon tells Paultin that he left Critter in the mud, and is surprised that the kobold surprised.

While the others are getting ingredients, Jarlaxle wants to take Evelyn on a walk. Paultin runs down to where they are and inserts himself into the walk. Dierne slips him a dagger. Diath quietly tells Evelyn to ask about Andrew Morn or Father Sunbright.

Jarlaxle transforms from a drow to a tan human wearing John Lennon sunglasses. He looks like Paultin, just a couple inches taller.

Purloque & Warrington[ | ]

Warrington asks Purloque if he eats through the trunk. Warrington finds him to be a comical creature. "Keep your eye out for any projectiles." Warrington is looking for projectiles and little metal balls. Purloque says that he is adept at metal-working and could make Warrington something. Warrington is excited about this idea. They approach the home of the pear tree and knock. No answer.

They spot the tree. Purloque suggests that Warrington shoot a branch off. Warrington says, "A plan is forming!" He says he will shoot down some pears. Purloque says he can make it silent. Purloque casts silence. Warrington opens fire on the tree, reloading after every shot. He misses 3 times, and blows pieces of the tower. He misses 3 more times.

Plan B. They're going to tip the old tower over so they can get at the tree.

Jarlaxle, Evelyn & Paultin[ | ]

They walk to the City of the Dead, a walled-off section of the city that is a graveyard. It is also the city's main park. Evelyn smells the heliodana flowers, skipping around and asking Jarlaxle questions. Jarlaxle says that they only bloom in the spring. Jarlaxle says that he has always are intrigued by the sun. Paultin shows him the sunsword, waving it close to the drow's face. Jarlaxle says he has three of them. Jarlaxle takes Evelyn's arm and he asks her about Lathander. Evelyn starts rambling on about her patron deity.

Paultin notices that they are being followed by some black-clad spies. He's sure that they are members of the Zhentarim. Paultin turns and asks them if he can help them. They pull out crossbows and shoot him. He takes a total of 23 points of damage. Evelyn heals him. The Zhents try to flee, but Evelyn flies and catches up with them. She casts moonbeam on them. Scared, the villains say that were only following orders. They were sent by Urstul Floxin to get the ring. Paultin wants to talk to him and explain that he doesn't have the ring. They promise to talk to Urstul and set up a meeting.

Jarlaxle says they should probably return to Trollskull Manor. Evelyn asks him if he knows Andrew Morn. Jarlaxle says he will have to think about it.

Diath & Critter[ | ]

Critter bundles himself up, and wears a witch hat that Strix gave him. They head to the western edge of the Dock Ward, a mildew-encrusted, foggy section known as Mistshore. There are ships that were turned into homes. They come to a home with a wizard sigil that looks like a crab inscribed on the door. They are about to knock on the door, and the door swings open. Grinda Garloth, a wrinkle-faced wizard wearing threadbare wizard robes, invites them in. She says that she goes way back with Jarlaxle.

She brings them to the back, where there is an apparatus of kwalish - a magical device, a vehicle in the shape of a crab that can operate underwater. She opens some underwater doors and then gives them a quick tutorial on how to drive the apparatus. She warns the group that they might run into merfolk and possibly a dragon.

Critter pulls a random lever and opens window shutters. He pulls a few more. Diath starts pointing out which levers to pull. The machine heads out into the water, and it is very dark. They activate the magic lights on the exterior of the apparatus. The floor of the harbor plunges deeply. They descend into the abyss. They spot barnacle-encrusted masts of old wrecked ships. Diath spots bright golden scales of something swimming through the water for a moment. They kill the lights and are in complete darkness. They sink deeper and deeper, until they hit something hard and immovable. Their craft flips upside down. Diath uses a pincer to grapple something to stop their descent.

They are caught in the rigging of a sunken wreck. They end up crashing through the deck of a ship. Diath excitedly looks around for treasure. He spots a sunken chest with a skeleton half-draped over it. They use the claws to grab the treasure chest.

Purloque casts spiritual weapon in the form of trimming shears. He snips off a branch of the tree. Warrington catches it.

Dierne[ | ]

She has to go to the Field Ward, which is a cesspool, where she will hopefully find Thrakkus's butcher shop. Dierne finds the shop, which is located in an old windmill. There are flies swarming around a haunch of meat near the sign. Dierne is sad she was sent off alone, so she finds a rat to talk to. In an alley, she comes upon 3 giant rats. Dierne tells them she has a business proposition. They transform into human/rat hybrids. They pick up weapons hidden in the garbage around them. Dierne takes out her spiked chains and tries to scare them. She intimidates them and runs into the shop.

A blood-stained dragonborn is hacking meat with a cleaver. Dierne asks to buy one meat pie. She is referred to a shelf where there are a number of pies that look like they've been sitting there for a while. She gets one for free. She probes his mind for the secret ingredient for his special pies. The secret ingredient: Human.

He wants to show her the room where he prepares the special pies. she senses that he's going to kill her, but she knows she has a number of teleportation spells. When she enters, she uses thunder step to teleport away. The spell causes a sonic blast that pushes Thrakkus and shatters the window. She sees that Thrakkus is still alive. She uses Blessing of the Raven Queen and teleports further, and she runs away.

Strix[ | ]

Back in Trollskull Manor, Strix is making the pie crust. Dierne returns from her trip and explains that the secret ingredient is humans. Diath comes home with the treasure chest. Some starfish are clinging to it. They were able to get some lichen. Dierne gives him the pies and says that Thrakkus should be arrested. Warrington and Purloque bring back the pears. Critter eats a human meat pie.

That night, she bakes the pie and it comes out quite well. Jarlaxle leaves at night. Before doing so, he hands the group 30 platinum pieces. Diath messes with the treasure chest.

When the critic arrives. He tastes the pies. Then he stands up and kisses Strix on the cheeks. She asks what that was for. He says, That was for giving me the perfect pie!" Then he bursts into flames, cringes, and falls back into his chair as a charred corpse. His assistants drop what they're holding and run out the door.

He died the same way that Father Sunbright did.

Jarlaxle offers to clean up the mess.

End of Session.